You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
