called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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