Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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