If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
