I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
