so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
