i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
