glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
