I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She announced her abortion via fbk
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
