Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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