Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
