can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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