I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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