just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
