Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
even my farts smell like vagina
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
