She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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