I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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