theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
