Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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