shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she told me i tasted like america
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
