Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
