going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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