Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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