The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
