Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
