The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
