absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
