i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
