are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
