How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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