okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
