i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
