I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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