somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
