I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
