I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
