grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
