I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
