You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
