he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
