Pappa wants mamma naked
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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