The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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