my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
As shirtless as possible
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
