i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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