u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
