when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
