apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
