remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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