Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
