No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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