So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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