I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He passed out mid-signature
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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